I've been sitting here on my sofa tonight messing around on the internet for well over two hours putting off writing and trying to distract myself from the constant flow of thoughts that have consumed me lately. In the midst of a half packed home, surrounded by boxes and misplaced furniture I've been pondering my current situation. Frustrated with the decision to abandon my prideful independence and stay with a friend, feeling less than a failure, and a bit overwhelmed now with the medical bills I've incurred this past week after finding a mass on my spine, I have just in this moment realized that money is not my problem. I think I've probably known this all along but right now it just kinda hit me with a sobering realization of how off focus I am.
I am the problem.
There I've said it. Why are things so hard on me? It's simple. It's the choices I've made.
I saw a post by Bob Goff the other day and I think it expresses my thoughts right now perfectly.
"Every problem we have in life isn't a battle between good and evil; some are just problems. Go solve them." @LoveDoes
I have gotten myself in this situation by choosing to do two major things.
1. Living above my means.
and
2. Giving up on the things that God gave me to provide for my needs.
When I look at these to two things it becomes so obvious that the only battle I am having is with myself and I have to admit that is a little embarrassing, but if it leads me one step closer to being free from this kind of worry I will gladly share it with you.
I have some problems and so now all I have to do is figure how to solve them and step one is probably the easiest way to start and that is embracing discomfort and living with what I have right now. Setting firm boundaries for myself and realizing that I'm just not there yet. Second is taking a step back, refocusing my vision and finding a way to use the gifts that God has given me and blessed me with all along.
I told a friend of mine yesterday that I needed to get my shit together and his reply was, "I don't know why you keep going back and forth. Just do it." Things are really so simple. Why can't we just do what we know we need to do? I think one of the major things for me is insecurity. I'm currently working hard on that one and it seems like this journey is going to force me to face that demon straight in the face. If not I might as well just close this blog down and accept failure but I'm not.
So moving forward from this moment I am challenging myself to dive in hard and focus on living below my means and living up to my abilities.
"Do what you can, where you are, with what you have at this moment."
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Sunday, October 6, 2013
All You Need is Less
What do you really need? And is everything you have what you really want?
I truly believe that if the world would just realize that less is really more we'd all be a lot happier, live a lot longer, give more to those in need, and time would be better spent pursuing things of purpose rather than making the pursuit of things our purpose.
Over the years I have moved many times and with each move I've gotten rid of more and more of those things that fill spaces but serve little to no purpose in my life other than holding a memory, most of which I could never really recall exactly why I was holding onto that object.
Mom bought that for me, I wore that when we went... where? Oh, this is my favorite such and such, I really liked this... 20 years ago, one day I'll fit into this outdated dress again, but I love these shoes I've had for 3 years I just don't have anything that matches them, I haven't used this in eight years but I might need it one day, that box of cords... well I can't exactly remember what that goes to. For crying out loud, get rid of it!
Why do we continue to try to surround ourselves with stuff? Is it really all that comforting? You are never going to wear that, get rid of it. Let someone who needs it have it. If you can't remember why you have it, get rid of it. If you haven't used it, looked at it, or thought about in more than six months or a year, get rid of it. If you don't like it, get rid of it. Stop cluttering up your life with crap that has no use for you. Sure there are some things that have great sentimental value, family history, or great monetary value but I can guarantee that those items are actually very few and consist of probably about 10% of what you have stored away. Why not lighten your load? I see it a sin to hold onto something that your not using that could be given to someone who is truly in need. Stop hoarding what's holding you down.
“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” Will Rogers
I currently work in a field were I go into people's homes on a pretty regular basis and what I see behind the closed doors of some of the most expensive and beautiful homes in San Antonio would floor most of you. I would venture to say that at least half of the homes I visit are "collector" homes. Homes that have pathways through stuff, leading to more stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. Most are embarrassed and will immediately make apologies for it. Some act as if nothing is out of the norm. I have seen homes that walking up to will take your breath away by their beauty only to open the door and take your breath away in a completely overwhelming sense of sadness. So many people are just burying themselves with junk. And I mean junk in every sense, real junk, junk they don't need, junk they don't even know they have, junk piled on top of junk, covered in junk. It's sad. Thousands of dollars worth of stuff, ten feet wide, five feet high is surrounding them only to keep them in a state of wanting and needing more. And every time I come across this it only makes me want to come home and purge.
It's hard enough to survive these days. It's tough enough to get the things we need. When will we wake up and realize less is more? What do you really want? What are you filling the empty spaces with and why? What do you really need? Start asking yourself. One question at a time, one day at a time if you have to.
I know it's hard to let go. We cling to memories, we cling to security, we cling to the fear of not having enough, and what if tomorrow I need. But there has to come a point where we take a good hard look at what we are surrounding ourselves with. The less you have the less you have to worry about. In a good way of course. The less you buy the more money you have for the things you really need. Start today to release that grip.
* Try starting the downsizing by just choosing 25 things to get rid of. It may seem hard at first but once you do it you're going to feel liberated and want to do some more. Give those things away or heck sell them. Make some of your money back. Give yourself an incentive to get this done.
* The next time you go to buy something ask yourself these questions:
Do I really need this?
How long do I expect to have/use it?
Will it end up in the back of my closet in a month or two?
Is there something better I can spend this money on?
Why am I buying it?
And if I walk away and give myself a day or two to think about it, will I still want it?
* Give yourself a break from spending. Go on a spending fast. Make a commitment to buy only necessities for a month.
* Give to someone in need or give to a cause. Resist the urge by redirecting your focus.
* Spend time weekly or monthly to remove those things that no longer have a use or place.
* Don't tie every memory to a material thing. If it's worth remembering it'll stay with you, or write it down, keep a journal, or take a photo.
* Realize that less really can be more. Less junk can mean more living.
Thing to remember:
"The things you own, end up owning you."
I truly believe that if the world would just realize that less is really more we'd all be a lot happier, live a lot longer, give more to those in need, and time would be better spent pursuing things of purpose rather than making the pursuit of things our purpose.
Over the years I have moved many times and with each move I've gotten rid of more and more of those things that fill spaces but serve little to no purpose in my life other than holding a memory, most of which I could never really recall exactly why I was holding onto that object.
Mom bought that for me, I wore that when we went... where? Oh, this is my favorite such and such, I really liked this... 20 years ago, one day I'll fit into this outdated dress again, but I love these shoes I've had for 3 years I just don't have anything that matches them, I haven't used this in eight years but I might need it one day, that box of cords... well I can't exactly remember what that goes to. For crying out loud, get rid of it!
Why do we continue to try to surround ourselves with stuff? Is it really all that comforting? You are never going to wear that, get rid of it. Let someone who needs it have it. If you can't remember why you have it, get rid of it. If you haven't used it, looked at it, or thought about in more than six months or a year, get rid of it. If you don't like it, get rid of it. Stop cluttering up your life with crap that has no use for you. Sure there are some things that have great sentimental value, family history, or great monetary value but I can guarantee that those items are actually very few and consist of probably about 10% of what you have stored away. Why not lighten your load? I see it a sin to hold onto something that your not using that could be given to someone who is truly in need. Stop hoarding what's holding you down.
“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” Will Rogers
I currently work in a field were I go into people's homes on a pretty regular basis and what I see behind the closed doors of some of the most expensive and beautiful homes in San Antonio would floor most of you. I would venture to say that at least half of the homes I visit are "collector" homes. Homes that have pathways through stuff, leading to more stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. Most are embarrassed and will immediately make apologies for it. Some act as if nothing is out of the norm. I have seen homes that walking up to will take your breath away by their beauty only to open the door and take your breath away in a completely overwhelming sense of sadness. So many people are just burying themselves with junk. And I mean junk in every sense, real junk, junk they don't need, junk they don't even know they have, junk piled on top of junk, covered in junk. It's sad. Thousands of dollars worth of stuff, ten feet wide, five feet high is surrounding them only to keep them in a state of wanting and needing more. And every time I come across this it only makes me want to come home and purge.
It's hard enough to survive these days. It's tough enough to get the things we need. When will we wake up and realize less is more? What do you really want? What are you filling the empty spaces with and why? What do you really need? Start asking yourself. One question at a time, one day at a time if you have to.
I know it's hard to let go. We cling to memories, we cling to security, we cling to the fear of not having enough, and what if tomorrow I need. But there has to come a point where we take a good hard look at what we are surrounding ourselves with. The less you have the less you have to worry about. In a good way of course. The less you buy the more money you have for the things you really need. Start today to release that grip.
* Try starting the downsizing by just choosing 25 things to get rid of. It may seem hard at first but once you do it you're going to feel liberated and want to do some more. Give those things away or heck sell them. Make some of your money back. Give yourself an incentive to get this done.
* The next time you go to buy something ask yourself these questions:
Do I really need this?
How long do I expect to have/use it?
Will it end up in the back of my closet in a month or two?
Is there something better I can spend this money on?
Why am I buying it?
And if I walk away and give myself a day or two to think about it, will I still want it?
* Give yourself a break from spending. Go on a spending fast. Make a commitment to buy only necessities for a month.
* Give to someone in need or give to a cause. Resist the urge by redirecting your focus.
* Spend time weekly or monthly to remove those things that no longer have a use or place.
* Don't tie every memory to a material thing. If it's worth remembering it'll stay with you, or write it down, keep a journal, or take a photo.
* Realize that less really can be more. Less junk can mean more living.
Thing to remember:
"The things you own, end up owning you."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)