Pushing through it...

A good friend of mine once told me, "You've gotta push through it until you get to it." Those words ring through my mind daily.

It's been about a month since I last wrote. I've sat down several times during these past weeks to write but after staring blankly at the monitor for several minutes decided each time that I really had nothing to say that would come out right. I've been thinking a lot lately and there's been a lot going around in my head about my goals, my life, and what I've been doing lately.

So one of my problems was solved last month. If you recall my contract was coming to an end and I had to find a job before August. Well I was applying for weeks and hearing nothing in return. Then one day a good friend that I used to work with emailed me and said, "We're hiring... send me your resume." Only days later I was offered a new job.

Now I'm not sure if the irony of this will amuse you as much as it does me but looking at the big picture it only affirms the fact that God has a sense of humor. The beginning of last month I began working as a collector for a mortgage company. So basically, I spend my entire day on the phone asking people to pay their bill. People like me who are struggling, some who have become ill, lost a spouse, lost a job, and a few that just fall a little short in making wise decisions in life. People who like me are trying desperately to tackle the elephants in their life. So as I sit on the phone getting yelled at and cursed for the job I do, I imagine God looking lovingly down upon me and maybe chuckling a little and I remind myself that all things happen for a reason.

I asked for a door to open and it did. I asked for more income and I got it, but like all good things in life it comes with a price and I am finding that this job not only consumes a great deal of my time but that it is also more than a little draining at times. A couple of my friends have called to let me know how much they hate it because they have hardly heard or seen me in weeks and have asked me if it is really worth it. So I say, please take a moment and look back at this blog from the beginning and my goal, and then ask me again. In all honesty I have to say yes. Tired or not with less time for me, I have the potential to make at this job more than half as much more than I was making. Not to mention that it came to me at exactly the right time in a way that answered me so clearly. So for the time being I plan on sticking at it. At least for a while. I realize it's taking me in a slightly different direction than I was thinking but that direction is what I have been praying for all along.

But I was getting so good as making use of my down time! And I had so much planned... My time from some of the things I love has been lessened, time with friends is now shorter and further between and I've had to put some things on hold that I really want to pursue and spend time on, but I am ok with that. At least for now because I know that there is a plan and that plan is to put me in a place where I am better able to accomplish all of these things. Those who know me well understand and those who know what's in my heart and how I want give of myself know that this is a temporary moment to get me there.

I find it funny that while at work I find myself thinking of what part I'm playing in others lives as I'm speaking to them on the phone. Basically, my main goal and purpose is to collect money, reach a goal, and make both the company I'm working for and myself money. I have had some pretty intense conversations with some customers recently that has really made me think of how I can both achieve my goals in this position and be of some influence to others out there. Some of these people are in the struggle of their lives and although some of them could care less, there are those who you know are at a point of desperation. I am waiting for the day that I get pulled aside for offering some of my "push through it" advice and sharing with them my own struggles. I find myself more and more silently praying for those on the other end of the line. One guy asked me, "Are you going to get in trouble for sharing your personal financial life with me?" I told him that if I did I'd deal with it. It is after all my job to keep people from foreclosing right and doesn't that in fact bring money back into the company?

It's scary that there are so many people out there that think, I'll just let my home foreclose. Little do they realized though is how long it's going follow them, along with bankruptcy, and even just letting themselves fall a month or two behind. The priorities of Americans are so screwed up it's not funny. It is coming more and more apparent to me that there are so many of us out there that are just so afraid to say no. No, I can't go out to eat tonight. No, I can't buy you that. No, you don't need a brand new "whatever" right now. No, I can't commit to that right now because I need to focus on getting my life squared away. So each day that I go to work I not only sit there thinking call after call of the moment that I can just quit talking and go home, I also remind myself constantly that there is a goal that I am trying to reach. Not just a personal goal but a goal that will not only me benefit me but also my daughter and maybe even someone else that I might in someway reach either through my work or through those things that are laid out ahead of me.

So for now I am pushing through it. I'm not thrilled with what I do. It's not my dream job. I miss my friends. I miss having fun and laughing and there are projects that I have planned but I know that this is not the time for. That time will come though for those things and when it does I will be in a much better place, more prepared and with a mindset that is free from the things that have been weighing on me for too long now.

So I am thankful for this time even though I am working up to 56 hours a week, and only getting one full weekend off a month. I am also thankful for those who truly understand what this means to me and support me. Well, I hope to write more soon. In a couple weeks my daughter will be back at school and I plan to get more focused on some things. I've got a good feeling and am hopeful so we'll see what happens. Only time will tell.

Thing to remember: Push through it until you get to it!

Roller Coaster of Life

I was thinking the other day of how much I love roller coaster rides and realized how closely they resemble my life. The slow climb up, eyes towards the sky, anticipation, the feeling of what lies ahead... then you're at the top, the view is beautiful, there is a quiet silent lull, if only for a moment and then comes.... THE DROP! Suddenly your gut is in your throat, you're racing towards the ground a million miles and hour, air rushing by, and the feeling that you are surely going to be ripped from your seat and go flying into oblivion, but then wait... you hit the bottom and just as quickly your flying up into the air again, upside down, thrown left, thrown right, spinning... and then it stops. You hear someone say, "That's it! Never again!" and they move on to another quiet, more peaceful ride. Then there are those like me that say, "Amazing! Let's do it again!" It's a fun ride when you know it's by your choice and you can choose to get on or not. Not so fun sometimes in real life. The thing is that if we look at the struggles in our life it really is a lot like a roller coaster, and if you think of it that way then you know that eventually the ride will end and you move on to the next thing.

So in saying that I will come back to what's been going on in my life the past month and a half. I'll try to be short and sweet.

1. Find out job is coming to an end and contract will definitely not be renewed.
2. Start job hunt.
3. Send out resume to tons of job posts every day.
4. No calls, no calls, no calls.
5. Pray for new job, have roommate praying for me, have family praying for me, decide that I might want to include friends and anyone I meet in this prayer circle.
6. Keep searching. I will not be jobless!!!!!!
7. Wreck car ~ AND IT'S MY FAULT! Let me explain... Blond hair, red light, BIG FLASHY SIGN! Go right? Reflexes kick in and I press the gas. CRASH!!! Car totalled... :( 
8. Remember that I still owe $2700 on a car worth about $500! Great...
9. NO VEHICLE ~ Get a ride from roommate, ride bike to work in 100 degree weather. Forced to walk bike on base since I am not wearing a helmet >:(  Have a conversation with God while peddling up hill and dripping with sweat on how I've learned my lesson on doing without. I get it Lord. Really.... I honestly do. .
:(((((
10. Insurance calls. Paying off all but $400 of my loan YIPPY! Blessing in disguise???? I think maybe!
11. Oh yeah... no money for new car. No down payment. Rejected from dealer because of credit. Would have to put down thousands of dollars to get into new car. What to do? Start contemplating buying a scooter.
12. Friend calls and offers to lend money to buy a used car! Time to pay it back... and no interest! Have I told you what great friends I have?
13. Buy 2000 Jeep Cherokee for $2800! I have wheels again!!!!!! I love riding my bike but thank God I only had to ride it to work one day!
14. Still no job...
14. Put out plea on Facebook for job. Friend calls and says they are hiring. Submit resume, get a call the next day, three interviews and now just waiting for background check to clear. Hopefully will be starting soon! Of all the applications submitted and resumes sent the only promising call I got was through a friend. Again, I love my friends!
15. Sunday, go to meet friend for dinner. Car does not start. Battery dead. $20 to my name and still a week til I get paid. Friend buys battery and puts it in for me without even blinking. Did I mention how much I am loved and how much I love my friends?
16. Take drug test for new job and realize I ate a poppy seed muffin at church two days ago! Everyone's teasing me that I'm going to fail the test. I will be SO MAD if I don't get this job because of poppy seed! Roommate reassures me that I would have to eat like a pound of poppy seed and not to worry.
17. Wake up this morning a realize that things are kind of quiet. Am I at the top of the ride or at the end of this struggle? Either way, I might as well throw my hands up! Right? ;)

Sooooo, this is what's been going on with me the past month and why I haven't written. I am here to assure you all though that I will overcome and tackle my elephant!!! He is putting up the fight of his life but little does he know that I am not one! I have God on my side and a network of friends that know the true meaning of paradidomi. Because they give of themselves I am able to overcome and soon I will be able to do the same for someone else.

In the midst of all this I am continuing to work on my photography and will be attending 1st Friday with my amazing friends and City Church Downtown. I am continuing to cutback on what ever I can and only buying exactly what I need to live. I have continued downsizing and only have a few more boxes to go through before I am at about 20% of what my belongings used to consist of about a year ago. The weight that is lifted by giving away what I haven't used is amazing. I figure, let someone else enjoy it and give me some breathing space and less to worry about.

So wherever you are at today on your ride just remember it's one moment of many and as sure as it comes, it will go. Throw your hands up and roll with it!

Thing to remember: Jehovah Jirah

FICO ~ The Cloud that Lingers

Today is day number 132 in my journey to tackle the elephant. Not much has changed for me in the time since I last wrote but I have been working on some things. I've been busy working on me and taking what I have and trying to make something of it. For the past several weeks I've been throwing myself into my photography. And to be honest it has been food for my soul. I have realized that it something I not only love but need. I built a site for myself and have been organizing and building on the thing that I love most to do. I also have my daughter back home with me now for the summer so I'm getting ready to go through another financial crunch and as always, I'm still working on minimizing my expenses and repairing my credit. Speaking of credit...

So this past Saturday I had to fly to Colorado to pick up my daughter and bring her home for the summer. It took me a while to prepare for this trip because it's not exactly something I can afford so I began planning things months ago. I bought my airline tickets months in advance, made reservations for the hotel and rental car. Got everything ready. I was set, or so I thought.

Saturday morning I arrived at the Denver airport at around 8:30 in the morning, got off the plane, caught the shuttle bus to Hertz and proceeded to the counter to pick up my car.

Now remember, I had reserved this car weeks ago. I had already received my confirmation and the night before leaving, and to make things a little easier on myself, I got online and did the pre check-in. When filling out the pre check-in you are asked for the card that you will be using to rent the car and all your personal information, which I entered in full and was given the okay you're ready to go. Not so...

I walk up to the counter and state that I am here to pick up my rental. The representative then proceeds to ask me for my license and credit card. I tell her that I don't have a credit card but a debit card, and that I have rented with them before. She assures me that it is fine but that she will have to run it through the credit check, which they have done before. I had no worries at this point because I know that my credit score has actually gone up 50pts. since the last time I rented. I stand there waiting and then she looks up at me and says with a now different tone, "I'm sorry, it declined it do you have a credit card?" I tell her no and that I didn't understand because I had rented from them before, I had money in my account and I had done the pre check-in. She says it has nothing to do with that with no concern tells me, "Sorry, we can not rent to you unless you have a credit card."

I go back and forth with her for a while and then ask for a manager. Go through the whole story again and he tells me the same thing. So I then ask if I can pay cash. He says, "You could have if you did it beforehand." So I say, "Let me do it now." To which he replies, "We are unable to do that now. You should have done it before you came in." Long story short they would not accept cash, they would not accept someone else's card, they would not help me period. I was livid to say the least. I was sent back to the airport and proceeded to go through this whole process over and over with at least 7 or 8 other rental agencies. They either declined me due to my credit score or wanted $250-400 dollars down, in addition to the cost of the rental.

At this point I was stranded, I was angry and I felt completely rejected and like a complete failure. The thing that upset me the most though was the fact that I was not being helped because of my financial "status". My mind started to turn and I began to realize just exactly how messed up our society is when it comes to money, credit and service.

So as I am sitting there I'm thinking, let me get this straight. I have bad credit. Okay, this is true. I do not own a credit card because of my credit AND the fact that after living without it for so long I do not believe in them anymore. In order to rent I need a credit card or a large deposit. Lastly, I have the money for the cost of what I am trying to obtain. My frustration was growing.

I do not have a great credit score nor do I have a stash of money, but I do know this. I live my life financially right. I live within my means, I don't buy what I can't afford, I plan, I sacrifice and I work for what I have yet the system I live in does not recognize that. There are a lot of people like me too. People who wrestle day to day and yet can never get quite ahead and the reason for this is because we are over charged, asked to make ridiculous deposits or made to pay additional fees because we do not have the FICO approval and we do everything we can to live within our means.

I know this may be coming across sounding a little hard on my side but I have been living this way for a while. I see it happening more and more though and not only to myself but to others as well. Due to my own poor choices and some misfortune, my life is ruled by the all powerful FICO score. It is a frustrating place to be because I know how much easier things could be. I just think its time for people who are living the way they should to be given a break.

Well, I have to say that after visiting every rental place and being on the phone for over four hours I was finally able to get a car. In my relentlessness I tried one last place that had already turned me away and convinced the manager to help me. For an additional $10/day I was put into a rental by Payless. They said they would wave the deposit if I would add their insurance. So, If at first you don't succeed...

It was a bad start to an awesome weekend but I wanted to share this story with you to show how important it is to keep your finances in a good place but more so to encourage those who are struggling to keep doing what you're doing and to know in the end that God always provides.

Thing to remember: There's always a way, but the choices we make today can either make things easier or harder for us in the future. Tackle the elephant!

Realizing the Obvious

Well I know it's been a while since I've written and the truth is that I've been in somewhat of a motivational funk lately. With so much on my mind as to what I want to accomplish I have fallen into a slight whirlwind of deep thought and "what now?" stump. I do remember that I promised myself I would stay away from that.  

In any case I know that I need to continue to push forward and in doing so this brings me to my next thought which is Realizing the Obvious.

You know there are some things in life that take us forever to figure out, despite the fact that all along the answers were right there in front of our face. Truth is that I think we all pretty much know to an obvious extent what our issues and obstacles are and exactly what we need to do to correct them. Oh what a painful and difficult process that can be though, which most times is why we spend so much time in a place that we don't belong or want to be.

I've been thinking a lot though lately about my life and the all obvious things that have been staring me straight in the face for so long. Sad to say, that I have also been thinking of what I can do to run as far away as possible from those things. I mean isn't that easier, to just completely avoid the obvious? Just kidding... but not really. After all that is exactly why I am here in the first place. Right? Seriously though, the most obvious facts for me are right now are...

1. I need more money.

2. I need to utilize my skills.

3. I need to stay focused, which I am noticing more and more is the most difficult thing for me to do.

4. I need to stay spirit led.

Tell me, why is it so hard to just do what we need to do? I know I am capable so what is holding me back? The answer to me though is quite obvious, it's me. I need to keep pushing. Pushing myself through this and pushing myself to continue to act based on the prize that is waiting for me. I need to be my own motivator and I need to constantly remind myself that it is me that makes the difference and that when I lean on God that I am capable of great things. I just pray that He will continue to bless me and lead me where I need to be.

Well, the news is that since my last post I have applied to get back in school, so we will see how that goes. I am trying to conquer that monster once again. Last week my daughter was involved in an accident so that is going to affect my budget somewhat since I will be getting medical bills for that here soon. I know it's going to take a little readjusting. I'm just hoping that it doesn't set me back too far. Also, I am now tithing at 5% which is becoming a little more difficult but I feel good about it so I'm allowing that to progress. It's now half of what I should be giving and I never thought I'd even be able to do that so let's just keep a good thing going. Oh and my insurance finally dropped to $77! If you remember at the beginning it was over double that so that is one very amazingly awesome thing for me. Also my credit score has gone up 50 pts. So even though it's still not good it shows progress and to me that's all that counts.

I know I'm progressing but it's just that the process just seems so slow at times. I've accomplished a lot in just three months but there is still a long way to go. I am just going to keep chipping away at it though and keep my eye on the prize. They say you have to dig deep in order to get to the diamonds and its the diamond that I want to get to. The diamond of putting all of this behind me and being free. I think my next focus though really needs to be coming up with something to supplement my income. If I can do that then I can skip through this a little easier I think.

Thing to remember: The answer is obvious, it's me.

Next: Spotlight

Back to Me

Well I am happy to say I that I got into the apartment that I wanted and am finally getting settled in. It's a great feeling after being out of place so to speak for the past four months. I have my own space again, my own room, my own bathroom, my own big closet and all with a great view of downtown. I've had all of these things before but somehow it seems so much sweeter now. I feel peaceful and very thankful. There are still many things I need to work on but right now it seems that things are flowing and this only encourages me to stay focused.

So now that I am back in my own space I feel that it is time to get back to me. I've put some things on hold because of all of my personal belongings being stored away and just not having a real place to work on the things that are important to me like my photography, writing, and quiet time with me and the things I need to nurture my spirit. I've realized over the past few months that there are so many little things that can distract that I really need to consciously remind myself to make the time.

I also want to take some time to really take a look at how to evolve myself. There are a couple of things that have been on my mind but I know I need to pray about them and come up with a plan on how to get those things started. I know I've attempted a few times to do some things and it fell through so I think maybe the fear of that has been holding me back. Fear paralyzes and faith moves us forward. I need to remember that.

Getting back to me is an important part of this whole journey I think. God's given me a way and what He's given is inside me. So pour me out like water...

When I open myself I am free.

Fully alive and living...

Expression, love, laughter.

When I am poured out like water.

THIS is the best of me.

Thing to remember: Take time to nurture your spirit. God's given me a way and what He's given is inside me.

Next: Realizing the Obvious

Update: As of today I have $2800 paid off, have a new home, and am tithing at 40%!

The Resilient Spirit

Some of us pray for patience, and some for strength, some pray for peace, and some just for a way to make it through. They say that it's not IF difficult times will come our way, it's just a matter of WHEN. So for me, I pray for resilience, to bring me back quickly and place me back on track and back to that place of focus.  

Have you ever watched a group of children playing? There are usually two kids in particular that stand out. There's the one kid that you'll see fall or get hurt in some way and they react in one of two ways. They either run crying and never return, or they sit where they fall for a long while sulking and waiting for someone to come rescue them. I think this may be the girl that I was in the past, as a child, and maybe a little into my adulthood...

Then there's the other kid. This kid falls, pauses for just a moment, and jumps right back up and is right back in it. Takes off running, stumbles, pushes himself up and keeps on running. Someone says something to him. It doesn't faze him. He shrugs his shoulders and keeps on going. This kid is my hero. He just doesn't stop. He refuses to stop. He is completely sure that what he's got his eyes on is so much bigger than that one moment, and with this he moves forward with little to no hesitation. As simple minded as it seems. This is my visual of a resilient spirit and this is the kid I want to be for the rest of my life.

I believe that it is a fact that the closer your relationship to God, the stronger your faith, the more resilient you become.

In my life I've had to face many things and over time have come to learn that there are three things you have do to get from one moment to the next. It doesn't matter what the situation, whether it's money or health or relationship issues. The three things you must do are recognize, receive, and respond.

First, recognize that you are not in control. God is in control and that he has a plan for you that may not be what you want at that particular time. You have to recognize that God's plan is bigger than the moment, bigger than you, bigger than any of us. And God's plan is perfect. 

Second, receive guidance from the One and Only. You have to stop immediately and pray for God's wisdom and guidance. Listen to your heart and what He's trying to reveal to you and seek His wisdom, not your own. Seek and you WILL find. He will speak to you in a personal and intimate way. The way that He knows best to communicate to you. 

Lastly, but most important is to respond. You have to act on the spirits prompting. You have to move forward with your eyes open and focused on the one who will lead you to that place which He knows is best for you. You could also say obey. I know a lot of people don't like that word but it is not a punishment word. It's a word of trust and faith. You have to remember that if God shows a way or asks you to do something that He will provide you with what you need to get there. That is a fact. Whatever you do don't isolate yourself and stay in the moment. MOVE FORWARD... and do so in faith.

So, here in my current quest to conquer the elephant I am learning and relearning how to do all of these things. Sometimes I forget but never for too long. I have a great circle of friends and an awesome support system.

The Resilient Spirit that is led by God can accomplish great things! All through Him of course. It's not easy I know, but I will always envision myself in every situation as "that" kid, but the one who doesn't stop. The one who keeps going. It's ok to feel bummed when something happens but not ok to let yourself feel defeated, because you're not. Be confident that you are a child of the creator of all things. The one who hung the stars and set them in motion also did the same for you. You however have a greater purpose, in a much bigger story. One that reaches far past anything that may try to trip us up along the way. Be resilient and remember who you are. 

And so... I have updates! Thanks to Uncle Sam, so far this month I have paid $2500 of my debt off and God willing will be moving into my own place again with an amazing roommate! Not to mention, in THE HEART OF SAN ANTONIO! I am very excited about this and hope to have some more things taken care of in the next few weeks. I am also tithing at 40% now and feeling great about it. I just have to keep reminding myself one moment at a time, one bill at a time, one day at a time...

Thing to remember: Recognize, Receive, Respond!

Next: Getting Back to Me

What's Next?

What's next? A question that tumbles through my mind daily. Honestly, maybe to the point of obsessing. I took a personality quiz one time and the result was that I am a futurist.  Always thinking about the future, always planning, always basing my actions and decisions on what "might" happen in the future. I guess in a way that can be good. Right? It's good to think ahead. It's good to plan. It's good to imagine all of the many possibilities, but where the problem lies is in the execution.

I will tell you, I can get completely lost in a day dream. Oh the life I have planned in my mind... and in my mind I'm already there! I will sit and think about things until I have run all possible scenarios through in my mind. I will plan and have all the details laid out. I will think and think and think and think and think...

Those who know me on a personal level often make fun of me for that glazed over look in my eyes. Well, that's not me having a blonde moment or trying to avoid or remove myself from the moment. That's me thinking about what's next. Sad thing is that sometimes without me even meaning to, I totally miss out on the here and now.

But this is just me right??? It's who I am. It's how I was made. I can't help it... or can I? So here's the thing. I realize that this has become some what of a fault of mine. Yes, it is part of my make up and in a way I think an important part of my character. What I need to do though is to learn how to use it in the right way. I need to set aside time to think about things and then take the time to act on those thoughts. Think and do. Think and act. Maybe I should really say think and live, or think and be.

How much time do we waste worrying about the future? We try to plan our lives to such a strict line that when it doesn't go the way we planned we are completely lost. How about living by faith? How about living in the here and now? Maybe it's time to refocus my thoughts and set up a basic plan, which I have, and let God fill in the rest of details.

I saw something the other day that said, "You never know what is gained by forgetting about the future." I think that might be very true. A lot of my thoughts are spent on a life I've created that doesn't exist. Plans fall through, people in your life leave, seasons change. What is truly important is today, right now, right here where we are standing. This moment is pivotal and will never pass our way again. Ever.  

So what's next??? Who knows?! I've got my plan and my focus is today. What I can do today, what has been given to me today, what I can accomplish today and who I am surrounded by today. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. Today however will be gone before we know it!

Thinking too much can cause us to drift out of mind and out of spirit. It leads away from the moment and away from our purpose right now. To keep your spirit centered you have to keep your thoughts centered and focused on the right stuff. Be in constant prayer and not constant worry. Plant your feet and walk steady with purpose. That way when the next thing comes you will just flow right into it with a clear mind and being led by the one who should be directing our steps in the first place.  

Thing to remember: Live for today!

Next: The Resilient Spirit

On a side note: With all of the crazy that's been going on in my schedule I had to put off my $2/day challenge but I will definitely be getting back to that soon!

I'm back... To Live by FAITH

After being wisked away to Fort Worth for work, I am finally back! It's been a crazy few weeks for me but I am taking the time to refocus and jumping back in.

So today I want to talk about Living by Faith. What exactly does that mean to you? More so, what does it mean to me??? This is my take on it... Faith is not a lesson to be learned but rather a compulsion of our spirit to lead us forward with the inherent knowledge that God has placed within our hearts. Faith is reaching out into the darkness and grabbing onto that which our hearts know to be true. Faith is stepping forward into uncertainty and knowing that your foot will land on solid ground. Faith is the peace in the midst of chaos. It is calmness in the storm. It moves us forward. It leads us. Faith carries us and catches us when we fall. Faith restores our soul. Faith whispers to us of the promises made long ago and with child like innocence we believe... In short I think it's safe to say that my belief and trust in God and His will for me is faith.

I think I could spend a couple lifetimes learning to master the act of faith, but actually it's really not all that difficult. Not as long as I set aside my pride, control issues, fears, reminders of past heartaches, and self absorbed thoughts. Wow! Where did that come from? Well maybe it's not all that easy but looking at what just came to my mind to write down sure tells me where I need to start.

Listen, we all have issues to overcome, layers to peel, internal house cleaning to do so to say. The question I ask myself though is how can I work on these issues and at the same time live a faith led life? The answer that is coming to my mind is this. To live by faith is a step by step into the unknown while "trusting" that God is going to lead me in the right direction. Will it be easy? No. Am I going to stumble along the way? Yes. Is it going always go my way? Most definitely not. Let's be honest I need to take the focus off of me and step outside of my little box.

When this year began I decided that my only resolution would be probably one of the most difficult things yet for me to do and that is to let go and surrender. Surrender to the life that I have been given and the path that lies ahead, which at this time is unknown to me. And as difficult as this may be for me, I know that the only way that I will be able to do this is to live by faith. To take one step at a time into the uncertainty that lies
ahead with the belief that I will land on solid ground. All along knowing that I'm not alone in this and for every season there's a reason and lesson to be learned, a task to fulfill. To live in faith is to fall into purpose and this is what makes life worth living.

Thing to remember: Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Next: What's Next???

Living for Purpose and Passion

What am I passionate about? What do I want to do from this day forward? What can I do now that I have done before to give me a sense of purpose?

Currently, I review payroll reports. Pages and pages of reports. I don't know. Maybe I'm looking at it wrong but as much as I try to be passionate about what I am doing it just isn't happening. 

For a short time when I was going to school for physical therapy I worked in the hospitals and clinics. I worked with people who were injured and in need and they trusted and depended on me to help them get better. Often times their lives had been turned upside down and they desperately just wanted to get back to normal. I helped them along that journey and I have to say it was the most rewarding feeling most days. Other days, it was tough with little progress, but whenever I would hear the words "thank you so much for helping me" it lifted me and gave me a sense of purpose. I miss those days a lot in that way.

For the past several years I have been working in the world of collecting, paying, receiving, and now auditing. I try not to complain too much because I do have a job. The monotony of it however, makes me feel like on most days that I am trapped in room with walls made of paper with a clock ticking the minutes of my life away. I know that I have to make a living but sad to say I feel like I am working to survive and often don't feel like I'm really living at all.

At this point in life I am well past the age of, "When I grow up I want to...." For me to make a change now would be a huge leap of faith. The biggest question that I have been asking myself right now over and over is, what would I want to do? And that is something I continue to pray about. 

I think God's purpose for us is truly what drives our souls and it is our passion for certain things that leads us to our purpose. He instilled in us a passion for those things and formed each of us with His purpose for us in mind. A lot of times though I set those things to the wayside and fall into the everyday repetitive motions. Before you know it the sense of purpose is gone.

I don't want to live the rest of my life communicating with paper all day. I want to be what I was meant to be. I want to know that I am making a difference.

I will continue to seek for that and I think that when the time is right God will finally open up that door that I've been pounding on for so long and show me the way.

Thing to remember: Keep seeking, keep asking, keep knocking.

Tomorrow: To Live By Faith

A Place to Call Home

Late start on this one today, but I am getting this out before sleep. I had a great evening with friends tonight so I don't mind that I'm up this late writing.

You know I have been thinking a lot about this over the past few weeks and probably more so since my daughter was here to visit during the Christmas break. What's been on my mind is home. What it was to me in the past, what it is now, and what it will be in the days to come.

Growing up in the military we moved pretty much every 3 years so the idea of home to me was somewhat foreign. I also thought a real home was somewhere you lived your whole life and went back to visit when you finally had children of your own. I never knew that feeling and swore to myself that my child would be sure to have that. Most of us know though that things usually don't go the way we plan.

Several years ago now I was married. We had a nice home in a quiet little neighborhood. I remember painting the walls in that place. It seemed like it took forever but I loved doing it. It was mine. I had a folder full of plans for changes and additions that we had planned, and I spent many late nights with my paint brushes and jig saw making it my own. 

That same year my husband I split up and from that time until now, which has been five years, I've lived in five different apartments. Each one I've done my best to make feel like home but never quite succeeded. We've had to move for different reasons, but for all this time I have been longing for a place that I can truly call home. 

When my daughter was visiting I felt this even more and also felt the reality that "my idea" of home is most likely quite a way down the road. How did I get here? What could I have done differently in the circumstance that I was in to be where I so desperately want to be? Thinking back I'm pretty sure that I've handled things the best that I knew at the time. 

What I need to do is to stop thinking about "my idea" and surrender to this moment and what God is doing in my life. I'm not where I want to be at the moment but in my heart I know that I am where I need to be. And I have to say the most amazing thing for me right now is my support system. I truly do have the greatest friends here that anyone could ask for. They have given me the sense of home that I have missed. Home is the circles of conversation we grow in, the holidays we spend, the dinners we share, the places we spend laughing and crying together. It's fellowship and community, not a place. It's the places we make memories and the moments we share with loved ones. That is home.

With that being said, I will continue on this journey that I am on. I have plans for sure, but it is God who will determine my steps and how I get to where he wants me to be. And wherever He takes me I can be sure that my home will surround me.

Thing to remember: Home is where your spirit rests.

Tomorrow: To Live For Your Purpose and Passion

What can you eat for $2 a day?

I have to say I am actually looking forward to this! I have been brain storming all day and searching the for ideas and surprisingly there are actually a lot out sites out there that talk about this and give suggestions. As for the variety of food suggestions, they all pretty much list the same.

Here are a few food items I can buy to keep within my budget:

rice

beans

oatmeal

frozen veggies/fruits

eggs

peanut butter

flour

canned meats 

bread

These items are cheap for sure, as far as appetizing... not so much. Wow... this truly is going to be a challenge for me, but I believe I am ready for it! It should be a little easier for me considering that I only have to worry about feeding myself. What I am hoping to accomplish here is to prove to myself that it can be done. At the same time, I hope to be creative enough to make what I'm eating seem interesting enough to where I don't feel like I'm starving myself. I'm also curious to see how much weight if any I lose in the two weeks or if I feel any better since I will be eating little to none of the good stuff.

Seriously, can you imagine a life of not being able to choose what you eat? Eating the same thing day after day? Not knowing when or what your next meal will be? I consider myself rich in that way alone. Most of us truly have no idea what it is like to be without or to have to watch our own child starve. We have choices, we have clean water to drink, and most importantly here in America we have resources and places to go for help.

There was a time about a year ago that I was going out to lunch almost every single day. The average lunch for me was between $8 and $10. That's about $50 a week, $200 a month... you can see how that quickly adds up. And that's just for me. Imagine a family of three or four! Today and for the past several months I have been eating in at work and have been spending about $3 a day for my lunches. Big difference. 

When I look back I can sadly see where a lot of my money has gone.

So, this Friday I will take $28 to the store to buy my groceries for my 14 day challenge. We'll see how it goes. Maybe I can finally kick some of my old food habits in the process!

Thing to remember: John 6:58

Tomorrow: A Place to Call Home 

$2/Day Challenge

So a couple weeks ago I was sitting here thinking that I felt completely gross. I mean seriously, I can tell I've put on some weight this past year. Despite my over indulgence of holiday treats, I could blame it on depression but come on let's be honest. I think we can pretty much tell what the real issues are. I mean I sit in a desk all day and drink ridiculous amounts of soda. Since my daughter has left for college I have dramatically cut back on exercising and my long walks downtown and at the park have all but ceased. Let's face it I have been slacking and loading my body with large amounts of sugar not to mention making a small dent in my wallet. If you sit down and think about it I spend like $400+ a year just on soda alone. I don't know about you but that just seems disgusting to me. I know this may seem a little ridiculous to actually sit down and think about but to me it makes sense and it is also one of the few things that I can actually control.  

Step one to recovery. Since starting this blog I have completely cut out on my soda drinking habit, cold turkey. For the past couple years I have been consuming about two or three sodas a day. Then if I went out to eat, well add a few more to the list. Here and there I have tried to drink more water but I've never really cut out on my soda. I went three months years ago but it didn't last. So here I am again. It's been about a week and a half and I have not had one. The first few days were horrible. I got terrible migraines, but today I actually feel great! I don't feel bloated, my head doesn't hurt anymore and I'm actually saving money! Who knows I may even lose some weight from this.

Well doing this got me thinking. Remember the fact I gave you earlier? Half the world's population lives off about $2/day. Well I was thinking about challenging myself to try and eat off $2/day. That's $14 a week. I'm going to do this for the next two weeks and see how it works, and that's just for food alone. I am betting that I can do it AND still eat healthy balanced meals. Who knows maybe I can even save a ton on groceries this month. A lot of times I think we buy our food according to convenience. How much money can I save by changing the way I think about food? Something to think about. I will keep you posted on how it's going as well as what I'm eating. I will promise you one thing, it definitely will not be Ramen Noodles. I know they are cheap but I don't like them and my goal is to stay healthy.

Thing to remember: It's the little things that count.

Tomorrow: What can you eat for $2 a day???

To Gain Stability

I've been working on this one for a while now and despite my efforts have not gotten very far.

For me to feel stable I would like three things.

1. A job that I enjoy with a stable company, to include benefits.

2. A degree in my hands.

3. A savings that I can fall back on if anything happens.

Over the past several years I have tried to obtain these things with no success.

In 2003 I moved to San Antonio and in the past 7 years I have been employed with four different companies. All had their pro's and con's. Each move that I made was an attempt to better myself. All except for one of which I was laid off. Now that I have been working as a contract employee for the past year and a half, I have to say that this is probably the worst choice I have made. Every four months or so my contract has either been renewed or changed over to another contract company. I cannot even express in words the stress that comes from not knowing if you are going to have a break in pay, when you're going to receive your check, and if your pay rate is going to change. Along with all the problems that come with a change in pay cycle. 

As far as benefits, I have not had medical benefits in years. Now that I have them with this new company I am not even able to take advantage of them because there is no co pay and you must first meet the very high deductable before the insurance even kicks in. I do not of too many people that I work with that are able to front that kind of money. To fix that I just do not allow myself to get sick. Thank God for home remedies!

Also, my pay was significantly reduced with the most recent renewal. The company I'm with now had the lowest bid and to my disadvantage won. This has caused many things in my life to get turned upside down and is the main reason why I had to move from my home. In the future I would not choose this type of work ever again unless I was married and did not rely solely on my income. So, in the mean time I am actively seeking a more secure position elsewhere. So far, my search has taken me nowhere. The good thing is I have a little time so I am leaning on my faith and waiting patiently for doors to open, as I do my part by actively searching.

Now for my degree... this is probably the one thing that eats at me most often. I started school when my daughter was in elementary and got pretty much all of my basics out of the way. I had every intention of seeing it through to the end but then made the decision to drop out to try to regain control of my life at the time which was spinning out of control. As far as credits, I am at about a halfway point and need to get just jump back into it. I had tried a few years ago but lost my job and was unable to finish that semester because the hours conflicted. Since then I have but most of my focus on my daughter which I do not regret. However, at this point she is well into her first year of college. So there is really no excuse for me today other than hesitation and a little fear of failure. My hopes are that in the next couple weeks I will be working on that and will be scheduling to meet with a counselor to discuss my options.   

Lastly... my savings. This is probably my biggest issue of the three. How do you start and maintain a savings when you're continually short? For me it comes down to priorities. I am still working on how to get this going. The only thing I have in place now is the Keep the Change option with my bank. Whatever is charged to my account is rounded up and the difference goes into my savings. I will tell you, since the first of the year I only have like $10 in there but it's a start. It's only been ten days also so we'll see how that progresses. Very slowly I'm guessing but it's just one step of many.

Truthfully, in today's world I don't really think there is such a thing as stability as much as being prepared. I think if you are prepared for change and able to react quickly when things come up, and they will, then that makes all the difference. The only thing that I can say that I've done that's gotten me through the tough times is my ability to react, adapt, and move forward. God has always provided the rest. I will tell you that this journaling has helped to keep me focused and I really recommend it. It's all a learning experience and a little deep soul searching to realize what the real issues are that have gotten you to this place. 

Matthew 6:25~26   

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Thing to remember: Again, God Provides.

Next: $2/Day Challenge

A Slight Delay...

Due to my very sensitive internet I am unable to post tonight. So tomorrow I will have two for you. ;)

To Utilize My Skills and Resources

I found this in some of my old writings and it stirred something in me. I wrote it on June 5th 2008.

"There have been many days lately that I have been feeling like I am not doing enough. My mind has been racing and I have spent many late nights staring at the ceiling going over and over in my head all that is within me. My goals, my fears, my desire to succeed, to love, to give and to serve... all of these things are inside of me. Waiting for the right moment to manifest themselves out of that place that says, "I should" or "I will", and into the moment of, "I am" and "Now is the time". This picture shows a good representation of how I feel. A vessel full of water. Water that can quench a desire, drown a fear, be served to someone in need, over flow a cup and fill a place in some one's heart . It is there and waiting. Waiting for that moment when the faucet is turned and when all that is within me flows out of myself and into the world that surrounds me. This to me is when miraculous and wonderful things will begin to happen. When I am willing to open myself up and go from that small trickle to a gushing flow that is filled with faith and love and all that I am capable of is finally released."


It's been over two years and I feel like I haven't gotten much further. Maybe in some ways, but not in those expectations that I hold for myself. I am aware that God has blessed me not so much with gifts or talent but with a curiosity to explore and try. There is one word that I do not allow in my home and that is the word "can't." You can not want to do something or choose to do something else but I have never liked to hear that word. I think if God places something in your heart and it is truly from Him then He will provide a way. 

There are so many things that I have gotten my hands into and that I actually enjoy doing, so why am I not utilizing those things to make my life better. It seems like a waste to me. Maybe I have not been ready or maybe the timing has not been right, but it hasn't been because I can't. It's because I haven't. 

So, this year I plan to start diving into some things. To take my skills and put them to use. To utilize the resources around me and to start the flow. Now is the time and I know that if I do not surrender to that I will never get any further...

Thing to remember: There is no such word as "can't."

Tomorrow: To Gain Stability

To Purchase with Thought and Purpose

I never really used to think about the things I bought, where they came from, who made them. Normally you go into a store see something you like or need, buy it, and take it home. Simple enough right?

Well, one of the things I want to work on this year to become more aware of what I buy. Behind every object that surrounds me at this moment there are people who made it. Remember that about half of the world's population lives off $2 a day. I don't know, but to me that just doesn't seem fair. A lot of people have the mindset of, "Well I'm only one person, how can I save the world?" Well, I know that I live in the wealthiest, well fed (over fed in fact), and most resourceful country in the world and I do have the choice of where my money goes.

I was looking on the site that I was introduced to not too long ago, www.free2work.org and it seems like an easy enough start to me. It takes only a few minutes to see how the money I've spent is being used to treat the people whose hands labored for all that surrounds me. I was surprised at some of the name brands I saw on there. In my mind, this site is an amazing tool that they have created to bring awareness to people on what is happening globally in the lives of innocent hard working people. If you have a moment, check it out.

Another thing I want to work on is buying with purpose. I have many friends who are so artistic and have so much talent, and who actually use the gifts that God gave them to make a living. I truly believe that we need to support each other in this. I would much rather purchase something that I know was crafted by gifted hands and that maybe my money may be able to bless them even more than to buy something that means nothing at all. Trade as One has a great site to support those people who come from all over the world to bring unique products directly to you. You can click on Trade as One to go directly to the site or click on the link at the side of this blog.

I plan to focus more on this topic later. I will be spot~lighting people in my own community who have some amazing gifts of their own. I plan to support them as much as I can and hope that you will too.

Thing to remember: There are lives behind every purchase.

Tomorrow: To Utilize My Skills and Resources

Pick Up the Phone

So, yesterday as I'm driving home I hear this horrible screeching sound coming from my front wheel. Oh no, I have heard this before. It is the dreadful sound of metal grinding against metal. I need new breaks... Do I have money budgeted for car repairs? No. Here comes another bump in the road. Well it looks as though my goal for this month is going to have to get rearranged around a little. Time to get creative and figure out how I'm going to tackle this one. I'll talk more about this later though.

Today I have something else to share with you. Did you know that by just picking up the phone and having a few 5 minute conversations you can cut costs on your monthly expenses? I know... everyone hates it but if you really want to get serious about where your money is going you need to pick up the phone. How much of your money is slipping away on unnecessary expenses? A few dollars here, a couple there... Do you really know what you are paying for?

Last week I got online for my car insurance, made a few changes on my policy and got it reduced from $168 a month to $141. That's $27 I saved just by getting online and taking a look at what I was actually paying for. Since then it got me wondering what else I could cut back on. This morning I took a few minutes and actually called and spoke to a representative. I asked him if there was any way he could help me to reduce my costs. He assured me that I had all the discounts that they could offer and then he said, "Wait a minute, I see that you have a speeding ticket and a traffic accident on your record." I sighed with a reluctant, "Yes..." Well come to find out my insurance company keeps those on their records for 35 months. Guess what? Lucky me! Both are coming up on that time. He told me that if I call back on January 21st for the speeding ticket that my monthly payment will go down to $117 a month. That's another $24 off my monthly payment. Then, if I call back on March 17th to remove the traffic accident that it will go down to only $80 per month! That is going to be an $88 decrease from what I was spending last month!!! More than half off, and just by picking up the phone.

Next I called my phone service. I was only able to save about $10 per month there, but $10 is money that I can put somewhere else.

Do you remember? 80% of the world population lives off of $10 a day. Think about it. There are people who would love to have 10 extra dollars.

So $98 a month isn't bad when your reworking your budget to work for you.

In short, we need to be more aware. I think that a lot of times we get a bill, we pay it, and we never stop to think about the details. It's your money. Ask questions. Take the time to make a call and just ask, "Is there anything you can do to help me out here?" These companies want to keep you as a customer and if you pay on time and they know you are going to pay they will take time to try and keep you.

Thing to remember: It doesn't hurt to ask.

Tomorrow: To Purchase with Thought and Purpose

To Live Minimally and Wisely

First off today I want to start out by saying, “Your needs grow accustomed to the mind’s way of thinking.” What does that mean?

Our bodies have simple needs like food, water, air, sunlight, and shelter. That’s pretty much it. Everything else is a luxury. The type of clothes we wear, how we style our hair, the things we collect, the types of food we eat, and even where we sleep. All of these “things” are luxuries. The more things we surround ourselves with, the more we think we need them.

So two months ago I put all of my “things” into a storage unit and moved in with a friend. The only things I have with me now are my clothes, my air mattress, and my two pets. Oh how I miss my things… Wait, what exactly do I have in there??? To be honest with you, after only two months I’m finding it hard to remember. I will even go as far as to say I feel somewhat liberated. Although I miss the comfortable and sentimental feeling of home, there is a sense of freedom I cannot express in words.

Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been easy. Sleeping on the air mattress for the first couple weeks was pure torture to me. My back hurt, it squeaked every time I moved. I’d wake up in the middle of the night a lot of times and wonder where in the world I was. And I’m sure my friends got tired of me texting every night to let them know that, “I hate the air mattress,” “I miss my bed,” “I hate my life!” But after adding a foam cushion to it and a feather comforter folded in half and then a couple more weeks of reminding myself that this is only temporary, I must say that I have the most comfy air mattress ever.  

Again, your needs grow accustomed to the mind’s way of thinking. What exactly do I need? This year, I need to get things straight. So I am leaning into the mindset of living minimally and wisely.

With every dollar I spend I ask myself,

1.       Is this a want or a need?

2.       How much do I need this?

3.       Is this something that will end up in the get rid of box 6 or 12 months from now?

4.       Is there an alternative to buying this?

Asking myself these questions forces me to think more about the big picture and less about my impulsive feelings at the moment for immediate self gratification. And to satisfy that feeling I have allowed myself to budget one very small thing for me monthly. It is a reward and something that I look forward to. Over the holidays I heard a lot of people say, “I miss the anticipation of Christmas as a child.” That is because we do not want to wait for anything, and most of us don’t. I promise, you can wait. Try holding out on buying something and then when you do there will be a whole different feeling associated with it.

Try thinking minimally and wisely about everything that surrounds you. The less you need, the more everything else becomes a pleasure, and the more money you will have to put towards more important things.

Thing to remember: Your needs grow accustomed to the mind’s way of thinking.

Tomorrow: Pick Up The Phone

Paying Off Debt

The things that bind us… What power does debt have in my life? Up until the moment I decided to do this blog it had all of the control. For years I have felt cursed and sadly enough have allowed myself to believe that and have fed into those negative thoughts. Little did I know, I had all of the control. Wait a minute, let’s back up. God has all of the control. As for me, I have the free will to choose how I spend what I’ve been blessed with.

As of today I am roughly $15,600 in debt. This includes my car and lingering bills from my past which have now made their home on my credit history among other things such as bankruptcy, a foreclosure, and a returned vehicle. Some of that can be blamed on situations beyond my control, but most of it to no fault but my own. If I could stress one thing to anyone it would be to protect your credit. Bad credit sends you into a downward spiral of high interest rates, double fees on deposits, higher insurance rates and in short costs you to lose a lot of your hard earned money for nothing.

So, $15,600 is what I owe. Some may think that’s not so bad. However, for me it has become a major thorn in my side because half of that debt is on my credit. This in turn is affecting pretty much everything in my life. It’s all connected. Right now I am paying $10,000 for a car that’s worth less than $1,000… and my monthly payments are as much as if I had a new car. This turns my stomach every time I think about it. Today I still owe about half of that and am praying that it last me at least one more year. All of my current struggles are directly related to my credit and what I owe. This has to change, and I choose not to live this way anymore.

Please remember that this is an account of my journey and that I am in no way claiming to be an expert or saying that this is the way you should or should not do things. I am merely sharing my experience and if it works great. If I fail then lessons will be learned. Now If you are able to get something out of this than that will truly be an amazing feeling for me!

I know there are many classes out there on ways to tackle your bills. I have thought long and hard about this, and with careful thought this is my plan:

1. I have divided what I owe into two categories according to priority and how they are affecting my life.  

2. After that I have them listed in order from smallest to largest amount.

3. Each month I have set a goal for myself on what I want to pay off.

4. If I fall short of my goal I am challenging myself to come up with way to increase my income so that I can meet that goal.

I am being realistic in the fact that $15,600 is a large goal to reach by the end of the year seeing that it is a little less than half my salary, but I am going to give it a shot. I am handing my desire over to God and asking Him to lead the way. In the mean time I will do my part with what I have control over and that is my free will to choose how I spend my money.

Coming up I will be sharing with you ways to cut back on simple things and also ways to decrease your current monthly expenses. This way more money can be freed up to go where it will count. It’s all about reorganizing and prioritizing.

Thing to remember: God is in control. The only thing you control is how you spend your money.

Tomorrow: To Live Minimally and Wisely

To Tithe

Give joyfully, right? To be completely honest with you it’s not always that easy. Don’t get me wrong I love to give. I would feed the world if I could, fix a friend’s car, or even pay off a debt for someone. It’s REALLY hard to do that though when you’re barely making ends meet. There have been times when I’ve had zero dollars in my account and I’m wondering, “How in the world am I going to feed my child today?” But do you know what? God has always provided for us. We have never gone hungry and have never been without the necessities of life. So where’s my faith?

I have been sustained in my life by the hands of those who gave in faith, gave joyfully, and gave from the abundance of their blessings. I too have given when I could, but my faith in tithing has always fallen short. Pay a bill or give my hard earned money away? Oh how the mind starts to ponder. Visions of late fees and an empty bank account spin around in my head until all logic wins, but every month it’s always there inside me… the desire to give. Weighing on my spirit not out of obligation but out of the inherit desire woven within my being. In quiet moments I sit and think of all the times in my life that God came through for me, even if it was at the last minute. He provided, always.

I am proud to say that over the past years I have come to know and have a very intimate relationship with Jehovah Jireh ~ the Lord will provide. We have met many times, often with me on my knees crying out in desperation. Again, where is my faith? Despite my stubbornness and pride I have grown a lot with Him and now when things go south I know in my heart that Jehovah Jireh will come to my side.  He always appears in some way, through some person, and by any means in which He chooses to reveal Himself at the time. And for this reason alone you would think that I would trust Him in all areas of my life, but it is a process and I am still clay in His hands. Slowly He is molding me in my faith and His purpose for me.

So this is the main reason why I put tithing at the top of my list. God’s business first and then mine. I’ve thought a lot about this and God knows my heart, so I am feeling pretty confident in my plan to tithe. So here it is…

In January I’m starting out at 3%. That’s roughly $30 a paycheck. I can do this. I will progress myself each month until I reach my 10%, and I have faith that God will provide for me in whatever I am lacking. I know it’s a step of faith and not a leap but that’s okay. Everyone’s different and I truly believe that you have to reach within yourself to find the answer that is right for you, because that is where God is, and His answer for you. And since I attend City Church Downtown I’ve decided that is where my money will go. They’ve even set it up so that I can give online so it really can’t get any easier than that. When I pay the rest of my bills online, I can submit my tithe on the website and it’s done. Peace of mind for me and blessings to someone else in need. No one can live in this world alone. We help to sustain each other and it is through our hands that God does His work. So if I am going to work let it be of purpose and let it grow into something bigger than just me.

Thing to remember: Jehovah Jireh ~ the Lord will provide.

Tomorrow: Paying Off Debt