To Utilize My Skills and Resources

I found this in some of my old writings and it stirred something in me. I wrote it on June 5th 2008.

"There have been many days lately that I have been feeling like I am not doing enough. My mind has been racing and I have spent many late nights staring at the ceiling going over and over in my head all that is within me. My goals, my fears, my desire to succeed, to love, to give and to serve... all of these things are inside of me. Waiting for the right moment to manifest themselves out of that place that says, "I should" or "I will", and into the moment of, "I am" and "Now is the time". This picture shows a good representation of how I feel. A vessel full of water. Water that can quench a desire, drown a fear, be served to someone in need, over flow a cup and fill a place in some one's heart . It is there and waiting. Waiting for that moment when the faucet is turned and when all that is within me flows out of myself and into the world that surrounds me. This to me is when miraculous and wonderful things will begin to happen. When I am willing to open myself up and go from that small trickle to a gushing flow that is filled with faith and love and all that I am capable of is finally released."


It's been over two years and I feel like I haven't gotten much further. Maybe in some ways, but not in those expectations that I hold for myself. I am aware that God has blessed me not so much with gifts or talent but with a curiosity to explore and try. There is one word that I do not allow in my home and that is the word "can't." You can not want to do something or choose to do something else but I have never liked to hear that word. I think if God places something in your heart and it is truly from Him then He will provide a way. 

There are so many things that I have gotten my hands into and that I actually enjoy doing, so why am I not utilizing those things to make my life better. It seems like a waste to me. Maybe I have not been ready or maybe the timing has not been right, but it hasn't been because I can't. It's because I haven't. 

So, this year I plan to start diving into some things. To take my skills and put them to use. To utilize the resources around me and to start the flow. Now is the time and I know that if I do not surrender to that I will never get any further...

Thing to remember: There is no such word as "can't."

Tomorrow: To Gain Stability